Die You Zombie Bastards (2005)

Do you like ninjas, zombies, robots, superheroes, sexy archaeologists, cannibals and swedish girls with big boobs? Ah great, because that's all you need for this ridicolously funny film directed by Caleb Emerson. Who really shouldn't be that unfamiliar if you're into Troma.

Red Toole is a hardcore hippie killer and extremely happy with his wife 'Violet'. But one day Violet gets kidnapped by the evil Nefarious (something something). Not only did he kidnap her, but he's also trying to take over the world by turning everyone into zombies... Oooooh Myyyy Goooddd.

The plot seems to be simple, yet it will lead to the craziest shit you can imagine. First we see these 3 hot archaeologists trying to discover some sort of 'amphibious guy'. And at this point i'm just laughing my ass off. They're all together in a tent and suddenly we see a dude appear in one of the worst suits i've ever seen. One of the girls then decides to run after him...trying to catch 'it'. So now we have a hot girl in a thong running around at night on some island trying to catch an....amphibious guy, seriously!

The way the character 'Red' is played (by Tim Gerstmar) is genius. The crazyness is dripping down his forehead. Bringing home a suitcase filt with bodyparts so he can share them with Violet. And you should see the look on his face when he gets a superhero outfit that Violet made for him. With a cape from human skin, the joy in his eyes is just hilarious. He has his own ways of being annoying, but in a funny way. Like continuously saying ''Yes'' and ''Uhu'' when the other person is speaking.

When does this madness stop? Well, it doesn't. We learn that Australia is actually Sweden, where some towns don't have any men. We see them working on the field, taking their tops off while this dude in a tight red outfit is running around trying to save the world. So how about that? On this epic journey to fight Baron Nefarious he meets the craziest people. Super Inga (with her....nipples), idiotic cops (Peanutch), Hasil Adkins as himself and plenty of others to spare.

Baron Nefarious is probably the saddest villain ever. He can whine like a baby and suddenly he's wearing girl panties... then he's trying to be scary by turning into a bat and he's mainly following the stereotypical path. The way Violet mocks him makes it even better, yet again: funny stuff. But enough with the funny stuff already, how's the gore?

The gore is fine! The zombies are just..green. But the bloodshedding can get really nice. It's not the main selling point (which is obviously the humor) but it's sufficient. I especialy like the ending, where the robots, ninjas, giant flies and what not make their entrance. Let's just say that when the key to the villains hideout is a giant cock that needs to be inserted in some sort of....vagina in the wall, everything in there isn't something you'll see everyday.

Great music, great effects, great humor, great characters, great story, great acting, it's fucking GREAT. I'd highly recommend this crazy shit to everyone that's (even a tiny bit) into Troma. It varies from childish to briljant, and from sexy to sick.

Score: 90/100