Village des Ombres, Le (2010)

This one came out of nowhere for me. Le Village des Ombres, or as we probably all prefer: Village of Shadows, is a brand new horror flick from France. And like most of these movies which just seem to pop out of nowhere: it's either a nice suprise or something that should've been burried when it was still on paper. Is this village full of mysteries worth your while, or must we fight it with fire?

According to page 512 in the horrormovie-victim-manual: the best way to get into trouble is by going on a trip. So guess what? Eight people are on their way to a small village named 'Ruiflec' to spend a nice weekend with eachother. They're devided into two cars, the only problem is that one of them dissapears right before they enter the village. They decide to look for the four missing persons, only to find out that they're all in big trouble.

It has a little backstory about the nazi occupation during WWII and some paranormal bladiebla. It's all a bunch of uninteresting bullshit if you ask me, so I won't be spending to many thoughts on this. I like it when movies take ridicolous myths or create one themselves, just don't take it too seriously mister director. And that's where I found myself covered up in shit all the way up to my chin. And boy that feels fantastic, thank god I only have to remain like this for over a 100 minutes!!

That's pure torture, I tell ya. I notice that I'm getting very frustrated right now, it's just so bad. But still, it looks really nice and the soundtrack is definitely not that bad either, but the story and the actual events feel like a kick in the nuts. It also has a cool setting, which is an old deserted village somewhere in France. So there...three positive aspects. But does chocolate make a turd taste good? NO, it does not..

And Fouad Benhammou has served us a cold turd with some chocolate sauce. I know it's not an action-packed movie, and I definitely didn't expect that, but could we please get something to keep our eyes on? I could almost hear my patience dripping on the ground, drip...drip...drip...untill I reached the point where I was beginning to feel the urge to dance, just so I wouldn't fall asleep....sad, isn't it?

Oh my god, a hand on the window. Oh my god, a scary drawing. Oh my god, now it's gone....? I made my point, i hope. I'm always willing to stay positive as long as the intentions are cool, no matter how awful a movie might look..I can always see whether or not it has the heart in the right place. Too bad this one has a heart like a 12 year old 'croissant'. Which is tasty when it's freshly baken, btw.

Maybe I'm being really strict on this one, but it has all the tools to create a piece worth mentioning yet it turned out worse than a toddler fingerpainting on your face when you're hungover. And that's the worst, the absolute worst...

Score: 30/100