Devil's Den, the (2006)

I guess I could've predicted the outcome of this movie. Lets just be honest from the start...it's really not any good. It won't suck due to the cast, nor the story...it's mostly the lack of balls. Jeff Burr, the director, doesn't have any, at least not where they should be. He doesn't seem to be taking any risks, not in the eighties...not in the nineties..not ever. And it shows, this half-rotten rip off is a pain in the ass.

Back in 1989 Jeff Burr directed a sequel to Stepfather. One year later he brought us the third TCM movie, which was nowhere as good as the first and the second. He didn't convince me at all, in fact, how could you ever f- up Leatherface? Oh wait.. ask the year 2003 and a certain Marcus Nispel. Well anyways, he continued with Pupper Master part 20319 and 20320. What i'm trying to say is that he has nothing refreshing to offer. The same lack of originality is the case with Devil's Den.

It's not a sequel, prequel, reboot or whatever. But it's more or less based on the concept of From Dusk To Dawn. So let's see...Stripclub? check. Vampires? check. Anything else? Not really. It all felt really familiar if you ask me. But that's not the problem, at least not at first. I don't have anything against rip offs as long as they reach the same amount of fun or just get close to their source material. The Devil's Den clearly doesn't.

Not in any way for that matter. It's never as gory or smartly written as FDTD (that might be too much to ask, I know) and the pace is just horrible. It's a durability test, how long can you keep your eyes open? I kept them open the entire movie but wished I hadn't. I've seen far worse, but the lack of really entertaining moments is just killing me at this point. Why am I watching this when I have so many brilliant movies to catch up on?

It has some spare moments, maybe a cool decapitation and an 'ok' one-liner, but those are like bread crums in your beard when you're lost in the desert. They don't do the job! And that's a shame, because the cast is pretty good and the entire plot is ready to explode into some amazingly bloody madness. Kelly Hu is pretty tough as always and Ken Foree is a cool actor. They do a fine job, even though I couldn't care too much about their fighting and chatting throughout this hellhole.

Devon Sawa is an annoying deuce but Karen Maxwell showed some nice cleavage... let's call it even. They try to shake things up a bit by explaining exactly what they are (not vampires but ghouls), argh... who cares? But wait, there are more unsuspected twists...which also suck big time. They don't add anything to the experience, not in an interesting nor fun way. It's just stupid and no, I can't find a better word to describe it. Avoid this.

Score: 45/100