donderdag 2 juni 2011

Zombie Undead (2010)

Oeehh, ''Zombie Undead''... what a shit load of fuck (-AVGN). Recently i've been watching a lot of zombie movies, some of them were briljant (Italian, eighties) and some of them were horrible (Modern day stuff, boring). I'm just shocked as to how this project ever got this far. It's just.... it's just...boring! That's the only right word...''boring''. I'd rather watch a granny spill soup all over her face for about 5 hours with no break.

I don't like to rant on and on about how bored i was while watching it and how lame the ideas are (wait, what ideas?), but some movies just send out a message telling me to do so. Let's get to the positive stuff first. I like the way it al begins, there's no gass leak or pointless experiment that went wrong. It's just an old (infected) guy who's being taken to a hospital by his panicky family. And that's when we see that the infection has reached many other people aswell. The protagonist at that point faints and she later on wakes up finding herself in a (eventually not so much) abandoned building.
So we have the disorientated wake-up stuff, we then meet another survivor who has just as little of a personality as the chick. They toss in a few zombies here, smear a little blood there and it's done. Well isn't that fun? No, of course it's not any fun yet. Wait, what if we make all the uninteresting survivors, played by middle of the road actors, talk on and on about shit the viewer doesn't care about? Isn't that fun? NO, of course it's not any fun.

So what if we let that go on for 80 minutes, without any worthy action and without creating a threatening atmosphere... well, you end up with a pathetic excuse of a movie. I just can't believe how idiotic it gets. Let me give an example: I was incredibly annoyed by the fact that the survivors don't know shit about zombies. SERIOUSLY? It's 2011 and people haven't seen any zombie movie to give them a slight idea of how to deal with it? For a 'realistic' (or at least serious) zombie film, that's a ridiculous assumption. Maybe i'm just breaking balls for the heck of it, but hey...i got bored so automatically I notice more severe events.
It looks 'ok' i guess. But it's trying to be too 'hip' if you ask me, with the redundant use of flasy effects and sounds. It's not making it more exciting, trust me. It's also a pain in the ass how the movie is constantly zooming in and out, playing with the focus and much more. I'm not a professional when it comes to this stuff, but I notice the difference between effective shaky cinematography (28 days) and fake/gimmicky stuff with no continuality to it whatsoever.

I have no idea why they didn't come up with any cool ideas to spice things up every once in a while. We're constantly listening to predictable conversations about the impact of this virus, how it spreads and how to fight it. Oh my god...we know that! We don't need Zombi 101 classes anymore, everyone knows how they work so just cut to the chase and deliver us some enjoyable footage. I don't think that's too much to ask, in fact... it's like they're taking a piss in your face. Nanananaaa, we didn't make any effort nanananaaa... *sigh*

Score: 15/100


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